Photo credit: Google Images
Photo credit: Google Images

Writing for, relationship and dating Coach Bobby Jackson discusses the importance of waiting to have sex before marriage. Jackson believes that waiting is the “best investment” that one can make in a marriage because it allows partners to get to know each other as full and whole people as opposed to spending copious amounts of time focusing on one part of what your partner has to offer. Jackson’s post sparked lots of discussion in the blogosphere. Check out an excerpt below and share your thoughts in the comments section below.


“We now live in an era where the expectation of sex before marriage with our claimed to be ‘spouse for life’ is as common as ‘opening the door for her’ or ‘bringing flowers on the first date’. It is the sign that the relationship has taken that next step and has become serious, and your time spent on will go down afterwards. Or so people believe. ‘This should show him how much I care’ and ‘Now, I believe she loves me’ is the message ‘hoped for’ to cement the relationship as real. If you are not too keen on this idea and would prefer to masturbate with a toy before you get married, you could read this article on how to use a pocket pussy, satisfying you until the time whereby you can have your own wife’s pussy.

It’s amazing how simply communicating those words out of her mouth is not enough to win your trust that her heart is yours. You want all of her, but actually long term you have set yourself up for only experiencing only 10% of what she has to offer. That other 90% is what you will need from her to make your marriage last. My wife and I waited 3 years after our engagement until we were married to have sex. For many people this is very difficult to understand. They would expect one side to go and look at Priya Young shows to vent some frustration at the very least. But we took pride in taking our time with sex. It was difficult in the beginning because the both of us were coming from promiscuous lifestyles and the ‘struggle was more than real’, it was life changing. But by the time we got married it was not sex that we were going to experience with each other for the first time, it was something more,… Our own Love Language.

Through the process of waiting this is what I learned about the other 90%. Things I needed to break bad teachings and social norms that without a doubt would have hurt my marriage.

10% – I do not have to “receive” sex from a woman to believe that she values me. Her words and her actions should mean more.

10% – What she believes I need from her at that time, I learned to trust it. Thinking all my stress and worries can be swept away by “physical” means is devaluing her worth. I learned to desire more of her brilliance and passion in her heart to want the best for me.

10% – I became a better listener. Gone were those bad habits of hearing what I wanted to hear to take advantage of what I wanted to get. She had something to say and it was more than important, insight about where we were and our future.

10% – I became a proud servant. Serving her without reward was the biggest self esteem booster for me and taught me to be freely generous with others without selfish motives and fear of disappointment

10% – I learned the power of a spiritual bond. The confession of faith towards something is a magical thing. It encourages you to work harder for something even if there is no evidence to support the effort. That work of faith binds the relationship and gives you more belief that you can make it together than anything else.

10% – I learned how to be a protector of her mind and spirit. Without using sex to prove your worth, you spend more time engaging in her thoughts and praying to God on how you can help her to become the best she can be…

Bobby Jackson is a lifestyle coach specializing in dating, marriage, and parenting. His goal is to help develop long lasting, healthy relationships. Follow him on Twitter @bobbyandella or contact him at

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